pumpkins and a deer

So yesterday I was at my friend Kelsey's house, and we carved pumpkins! It was actually really fun because it was my first pumpkin that I had carved all by myself. I cleaned out the pumpkin guts and everything! Also I definitely don't remember it being as hard as it was to actually cut a design in a pumpkin-my arms were quite sore when I was all done. Anyways, so after Kelsey, myself, and everyone else had finished their pumpkins we listened to Halloween music and make cookies! Oh by the way, Halloween music on Pandora is really random and weird. Anyways, so now to the deer part...
So Kelsey had picked me up to go to her house and my brother was going to pick me up. (Since we share a car.) Anyways, he was on the way to pick me up and hit a deer! Luckily, he did not get hurt. He was really fortunate because he just got a few minor scratches. BUT my car on the other hand has so much damage! Okay so the passenger window AND the drivers' window completely shattered, the passenger side outside mirror is demolished, the front left light is wrecked, and there is a massive dent in the hood. There is glass inside the car everywhere. What a mess.
It was, by far, such a horrendous Tuesday.

To Do List

So last week i was so stressed out and overwhelmed.I decided to make a list of all the things i had to complete over my weekend.my list ended up being a page long but at least i had it all down on paper.Over the weekend i felt that i was not going to have enough time for myself, family or friends.It was hard to stay up and do homework for hours when my friends were calling me asking me if i can make it to the game or meeting up at a hookah bar.As much as i wanted to go i needed to get the majority of my work done so i can feel some sort of relief.After being non-stop last week and continuing to complete all my homework on the weekend i am glad to say that this weekend has died down so i can catch my breath.I am having a pretty good week so far and excited to make plans for this upcoming weekend so i can finally relax and do everything.

I love Marina

       So this week in college writing 1, we received the topic of how non-violent civil disobedience or resistance can be seen through a song. I chose the song Sex Yeah! by Marina and the Diamonds(which is my favorite female singer) because she sings about how much she hates that sex and gender roles rule our society. I enjoyed writing this paper because it was so easy, and  because sex really is over exposed in our society. Stores and businesses put out products and clothing so people can feel better about themselves and look "sexier' which is sad.

       Another thing that caught my attention this week are relationships. Currently, I am talking to someone, I guess one could call it dating. This guy isn't my boyfriend because I hate titles. My friends tried to tell me that I have commitment issues which is definitely not the case. I haven't ever really been in a relationship because I find it really creepy to get that close to someone mentally and physically. I've been an only child for most of my life and my parents divorced when I was 3, so my mystical outlook on  intimacy faded pretty quickly. Not only this, but i'm not an emotional person either, which is interesting because the guy i'm "dating" calls me pet names and all this mushy stuff which I absolutely hate. I even  hate PDA. I'm not a very touchy- feely person and its going to be interesting when I explain all of these things to him. I kind of feel like for now, just starting off in college, working on my acting and writing career, and even choosing my career path wisely has got me all tied up; so a relationship would just be more fluff that I don't feel like dealing with.

Well, I'll see what the future holds.
~Ilb4

Song of the week! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ophnmGWQGsU

Went To School Concert

I attended the 2013 Collegiate Women’s Choir Festival presented by the Texas State University and was pleasantly met with dazzling performances by beautiful and talented women. This choir festival is an annual event in which the select women’s choirs of the Texas Music Educators Association present a collaborative concert. This year the Texas State Women’s choir was accompanied by University of Texas at San Antonio and Texas A&M University. They each performed their own ensemble pieces and then joined together to perform their collaborative festival chorus.

The first performance by UTSA seemed to be a little more contemporary. The first song was Sigh No More, Ladies from Much Ado About Nothing which was much more catchy and easy to follow than the previous selections performed. I enjoyed this song however the high note at the end was quite sharp and I found myself frowning. The second song was perfect for this Halloween season. Hexenlied was easily one of my favorites due to its eerie and creepy nature. The piano player Christine Dubus was phenomenal, her hands were moving extremely fast throughout this song and I was truly in awe of her talent. Although Ms. Dubus piano playing was incredible, my favorite moment of their performance was when she stopped playing and the women began to sing Warrior. The women scattered themselves across the stage in an informal fashion which was very theatrical and fitting for the lyrics of the song. The song was essentially about women empowerment and I truly felt the emotion and strength behind their delivery.

"All I do is win, win, win, no matter what!"

     Talk about an amazing weekend! On Friday I drove home with my best friend Megan, who's on Strutters with me, for my high schools Homecoming. Funny thing about it was we were actually playing Megan's high school team, so it worked out for the both of us, cause we both got to visit our old dance teams. It was really a whole lot of fun to be able to see all my old drill team girls and all of my old high school friends, including the ones who graduated with and before me. I probably took around hundred pictures with everybody that I saw. To make it even better my school won!!
       On top of that, TEXAS STATE WON!!!!! Saturday's game was absolutely amazing and if you missed the Homecoming game, you missed out on life. Our boys did an amazing job against... well if forgot who we played, but it's ok cause we won! Including the amazing kick that put us ahead in the final seconds of the game! To make it even better we got lots of positive reviews with the Strutter's routine when we danced on wooden fences. Plus, a former Strutter won Homecoming Queen and we had a current Strutter win Gallardian! Over all Saturday was amazing. I was even surprised by my best friend from Georgetown who came to the game to watch me dance and then she stayed the day with me on Sunday. This was probably the best weekend I have had in a long, long while.

The week ahead

Starting this week I was already very relaxed. This is because going into this week I knew I had no major assignments due and the one I did have due I already completed. This was a relief compared to last week when I was constantly stressed from assignment after assignment and test after test. The only thing that was bothering me for this week was a speech that I was expecting to have to give on Wednesday. But on Monday I found out that my day to present was now going to be the following Wednesday. I was a little nervous for it but I know all the information very well so I wasn’t too worried, and now that it is pushed back a week I feel even better about it.

            Other then school I’m excited for Halloween. There is so much going on, on Thursday I cant decide what I’m going to do. What I’m debating between right now is going to the Carnage and Brillz show at The Marc or going to Austin to go to a Halloween party with some friends. I probably wont decided on what I’m doing until an hour before. So all in all this week will be chill, fun, and relaxing and it’s a good and well deserved break after midterm week.

Halloween and October Tests

Now that the month of October is winding down and Halloween is only a few days away, all of the tests I had this month are being handed back and grades are flying around. October was definitely not a fun month test wise, with at least 1 or 2 tests every week and registering for classes on top of that. Now that the month is winding down and the last 2 tests are approaching I am feeling relieved, but also scared. I have not exactly gotten the best grades so far and it is definately making me worried now that we have just a little more than a month left of the semester. I had to actually stop and let that sink in for a moment. We have only one month left till winter break. Which means one month to bring up my grades and try to get B's in everything. (Ha! Yeah right that is not happening at this point)

At least Halloween is this week and there is a ton of events and stuff all over campus to cheer me up and let me relax and have some fun for a while. Candy will definitely help, as will dressing up and just having fun with friends.

Friends

So I guess college is where you really do learn who your true friends are. Today I was informed by my best friend from back home that we are no longer friends via Instagram. Yep, the social media is how my so called "best friend" ended our friendship. Great right? Not so much. She was my biggest supporter. I really have nobody else to talk to that understand the way she does. But then again, I've made some great friends here so I shouldn't be all too worried although I am. I do not deal with change very well, so dealing with this isn't going to be the easiest. I know I sound like a baby right now, but I really did count on her for everything. Oh well. Things happen.

Ghost stories in class

So today in my COMM 1310 lab, we did impromptu speeches. My teacher had a deck of cards that had different subjects to talk about on each card. She gave us three cards and we got to chose one of the subjects to talk about for a minute in front of the class. The card I picked was about having an experience that made you believe in angels or ghosts. I picked this card because it was the only one that I was able to think of something for. When I got up in front of the class I told them about my first experience with ghosts or angels. When I was about eight years old, I was laying in my bed waiting for my dad to tuck me in goodnight. While I was waiting, all of a sudden I saw three little girls wearing white dresses. They were standing at the right of the foot of my bed. I started to freak out and scream, and when my dad entered my room they disappeared. He asked me why I was screaming and I told him what I saw. Then he told me that they were just my guardian angels watching over me. So whether they were ghosts or guardian angels, I knew I saw something, and I'll never forget what I saw.

College Station

Instead of staying here for homecoming I decided to go to college station for the weekend which turned out to be awesome/terrible at the same time. It was awesome because I finally got to see my brother after not being able to see him for literally forever and I also got to see one of my best friends. I also got to see a ton of other friends i went to high school with and makes me kinda want to go there. The bad part about college station is that I ended up shattering my phone and my best friend lost hers. Literally everything bad happens when we are together. I also got like ZERO sleep. One night I tried to go to sleep at 12 but my friends made me stay up until 4. I ended up having a really good time, and im super happy I went:)

The Weekend

This weekend was pretty fun. I didn't have any test to worry about for the week so I was able to have some fun without worrying about school. I went tailgating for the first time this year which was pretty awesome! There was so many people there, and it was such a great experience. I loved tailgating because everyone was just having fun and talking to one another. Everyone at the tailgate was so friendly, and also have so much school spirit which is pretty cool. It was nice not having to worry so much about school for once, and actually have time to relax and have fun at the game. Overall this weekend was pretty relaxing and fun. I just wish all of my weekends were like that.

I need a Break!

I am constantly tired. I feel like I've gotten so lazy about studying but what motivates me is the fact that I'm paying for these classes so I really want to get good grades and have a good GPA. I can't wait for Thanksgiving so I can just take a break and spend time with my family! I do try and take a mini break sometimes especially on the weekend so this week I went to the Homecoming talent show. I love talent shows! I got to here a lot of really great singers and dancers. I was very pleased with the people that won. This weekend I also  hung out with some of my friends from my church. It was fun because it was game night! Out of all the games they had I played Uno and won twice. I also played BS which was a fun and funny game. I would've gone to the game but I had a GEA( gospel choir) Event to go to. We were suppose to go on at 2:00 pm but we didn't go on till probably 3:45.  I loved watching all the performances at the event.

tailgate and pace

This weekend was really fun!! I did not have to go home for once. It's always a good feeling when you do not have to use your gas. Last week I did not do anything which was terrible. But this week I'm back on my feet again and ready to work and get some stuff done! I went to the tailgate Saturday which was really fun and I will probably use that for my student affair prompt. This was the second tailgate I have been to since I have been here. Because all of the other home games fell on weekends that I had to go home! So it was nice to finally go to the tailgate again. Yesterday was the definition of a "lazy Sunday". I woke up at 3, (yes, 3. I haven't done that in a while) got up and went to Jones with my friend Ashley. It was my first time going to Jones in about 6 weeks. The last time I went there, I started looking at my food and was absolutely disgusted. So I refused to go for the longest time. But I went yesterday and it was okay. The rest of the day I hungout with some friends and watched Hocus Pocus before we all went to bed. I used to love Hocus Pocus when I was little! It brought back some good memories. But, I have yet to do almost anything in Pace. I'm going to work on it tonight but I might need some help... any takers? It confuses me and I just get frustrated and end up not doing it. Probably not the best idea.

mid-terms are over!

   Finally all of my mid-terms will be over at 1:50 tomorrow. Such a relief to have a few weeks without having to worry about exams. My last two mid-term grades where not exactly what I was hoping to get so I've sort of been in this funk. I feel like everyone else around me is making awesome exam grades and I feel stupid. When I feel really down, I just think about someone I knew that I wasn't fond of and who wasn't smart at all, and say to myself, "If she can do it, so can I".
   I am currently writing this blog as a distraction because I'm not really looking forward to continue my studying for my math mid-term tomorrow. In other more exciting news, my boyfriend and I, double dated with our good friends and attended the Randy Rogers Band concert at Floores country store. I've seen them so many times, but I never get tired of seeing them! It was also exciting because they were broadcasting the concert live online and also recording it for a live DVD thing, so I'm somewhere in that crowd! Alright, it's about time to get back to studying, bye!
 

A Night to Forget

     For a month I've been planning to throw my first college party. My friends birthday was during this month so we decided to get together and plan it. By get together I mean me, another girl and a guy plan it ourselves. Since it was our friends birthday, he decided to get everything and we were the ones to help complete things and invite people. We might have invited too much people because the place was crowded. It got a bit out of hand, and in the end, we ditched our own party.
     What I learned is that certain college people do not care to know who is throwing the party... They're just there to have fun obviously, but at least try and figure out who the hosts are! Other people on the other hand, were nice to me and made it an alright night for us. I would rather forget the ending though.
     I got home at around 5 am and slept 5 hours or less and well now I have to do homework
     I must say this is probably a typical Texas State weekend. Sundays are my catch-up days...
    
     Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Being sick

   So this week has been a sick week for me. I don't know what is exactly wrong with me. I have had massive migraines, the chills, and I feel extremely dizzy all the time. I usually handle sickness really well, and can pull my own weight. This time around though, not so much.
   My biggest problem is that I missed a midterm. I had the clinical note to excuse me, though when I emailed my professor, she was like come take it today then. I messaged her and called her trying to come take it. I didn't get any response. Hopefully she lets me take it. If not I'll fell the class, because the way that grades are weighted. I still feel like crap and it is really hard to read. That is exactly why my blog is going to be short today, because I want to throw up just looking at this.

taken care of business

I'm writing my post pretty early in the week because I'm studying at Alkek Library right now and I've run out of stuff to do while my friend is still working on her philosophy paper.

I had a very busy couple of days, yesterday, I went back to my home town so I could spend the night and wake up pretty early to finally take care of my defensive driving stuff. I also got my grandma to take me to Spirit Halloween and buy me all the stuff I need for my costume. The reasons I even go home include; food & money. I got this shirt from Vagabond that's a tourist shirt from Salem and my grandma actually asked me if I was into witchcraft. I think I might have laughed for an hour. I then said, "Halloween is my favorite" and she asked me in the most serious tone if I was "into something weird now". I honestly can not take her, it was just too hilarious. I think I'm going to start making her really believe I'm a witch or just start being really creepy and see how long I can keep this going.

I also got my nipples pierced the other day, so I'm pretty stoked on that.

a little bit of a lot

This past weekend I went to Camp Champions and it was so fun! My friend Kelsey and I drove up together in her 1996 geo tracker. It is such a torn up car, but I love it! So the weather was perfect when we drove up Friday afternoon (since she technically doesn't have a roof anymore.) We stopped at this Czech kolache place in the middle of no where near Smithville. It was so delicious! The bread was super fluffy and moist-it was like eating a cloud. Anyways, so after that we drove about another hour and got to camp! As far as camp goes, I hadn't ever been to camp when it was cold so it was a pleasant change, however I should have packed more clothing. Especially because I went through 2 pairs of pants in one day! So the first pair-I sat on a bean bag full of dirty gross water which thoroughly soaked my butt and bottom of my sweater. That same day, I went on the zip line and decided to go upside down and the harness caught my pants and ripped them, taking some of my skin with them...Not cool. Despite my pant issues though, camp was so nice and enjoyable. My cabin was full of great campers and great volunteers and workers. My camper last summer, Kim, remembered me which was awesome. Not to mention, she was in my cabin!
Aside from that, I also saw old friends and met new ones! One of which is super gorgeous. I met him last summer but we were able to talk and hang out more this weekend since our schedules were better aligned. ANYWAYS. He goes to school here and is such a great guy. We're definitely going to be hanging out more, not to mention, him along with some of the other camp staff had dinner last night and he definitely asked for my number. So we'll see what happens.

November is coming up!

I’m excited that November is next month! I am looking forward to my Thanksgiving and my 19^th birthday. I’m excited to take a little break from all the stress to Spend some time celebrating with friends and family. So far my family has decided to take a vacation for Thanksgiving .We have no idea what where we want to go but we have decided that we should do something different this year! So I’m really looking forward to getting away. A few days after thanksgiving is my birthday and I cant believe its already going to be another year. Every year I usually find a place to go eat and then go shopping but this year I want to do something else but have no idea what I want to do. Even though I want to do something different, I will probably just end up doing the usual and going out to eat at the cheesecake factory and then hanging out with my friends at la Cantera.

Studying

Okay so a major issue for me has been studying. Lately I've been getting by by cramming the night before a test and making an okay grade, even 2 D's.

Then one day I got the bright idea to leave my dorm and study in the silent section of the library to study. I did this because the study room in my dorm was more like a party session. Even though it aas tempting to have fun and get a little work done, but I knew I had to make a change to be more successful. So, after my my first self study session in the library, I got a 98 on my math test and got a good start on studying for my bio one.

Speaking from experience, if youre having trouble with studying, go to the library! Isolating yourself is better than being distracted from other people and even yourself.

-ilb4

Song of the week: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GU6tC5vUrsY

Homeward bound

I was finally able to go home this past weekend. It wasn't until I was there and talking to my parents and playing with my dogs did I realize how much I missed it. It felt so surreal and made me realize how used to living in a dorm on campus I had gotten. Being home again felt completely different. More relaxing in a way. Comfortable and cozy and warm. I have not been homesick at all these entire two months of my college life but when Sunday rolled around and I was packing up my car again... it just hit me that though I do see my dorm and San Marcos as my home, it is a different kind of home, with a completely different feeling from my home.

It was great seeing my dogs again. They were in the backyard when I got home and did not realize I was there at first until I started walking toward he back door. They must have seen me through the window because they raced inside so fast and were so excited they almost knocked me over. (Keep in mind they are two Shih Tzus and are tiny and I was holding two bags) I immediately dropped my stuff and dropped to the ground and I think i sat there with them jumping all over and running around me in circles for a good 20 minutes. I missed my dogs so much and I'm glad that it really showed that they had missed me too. They would not leave my side the entire weekend and when they saw me lugging my stuff back out to the car they became so depressed that I felt really bad. Now I miss them more than ever. Thanksgiving needs to come soon so I can go back home and see them again.

The only really downside to my weekend was that my sister had been gone almost the entire time. I did not get to see her last time I was home because she had rehearsals and plans all weekend and this time she was in another town at her friend's homecoming. I only got to see her when she got back on Sunday literally 20 minutes before I had to leave. In fact she would have missed me if I had left on time and hadn't been waiting for my friend I was driving back up to San Marcos. Apparently she had been texting with my mom the entire way home asking if I had left yet. I was so surprised when she came running inside and saw I was still there. She gave me this big, full hug and I was so shocked. I mean, its not like we fight a lot or anything, lately at least. (We fought so much as kids haha) But that doesn't mean we are best friends either. We mostly just ignored each other the past few years, there would even be days at a time that we never even saw each other once even though we lived in the same house. We were both always too busy to spend time together like we used to. And she definitely had not hugged me like she was right then in years. We only had a few minutes to talk, but it was clear that she had missed me a lot, and I realized with a start that I had missed her too. Because even if we never saw each other, before I went to college, I could always feel her presence in a way. She was still there; in the other room, or had passed by my bedroom door on her way out, or we had just missed each other by a few minutes. But with me being in college, that presence was gone. But I felt like we had grown closer while we were apart, like we had both realized how much time we could have spent together that we took for granted, and now I'm too far away. I feel like we are much closer now, even though we are apart.

schedule shtuff

Signing up for classes the second time around was a lot easier than the first. My room mate and I woke up right at eight so we could try and get exactly what we wanted. What I really didn't want was another eight a.m. but of course the only math class I could take had to be at eight. My schedule this semester was really drug out and spaced so I'm going to try all my classes back to back and getting done pretty early. Having Friday off again was a necessity. I have it pretty much figured out so I guess only time will tell which way schedule works best for me.

My money update is; I'm still spending money I can't afford to spend and it sucks but there's so many ideas and fun things my friends and I think of that require a little cash.

I am going home tonight to spend the night and then coming back tomorrow before my 3:30 so I want to see how much I can get my parents to buy me. Maybe I'll even get them to hit up the spirit of Halloween so I don't have to spend my own money on my Halloween costume.

PARENTS: PLZ PAY 4 ME 4EVR THX

"I'm coming home, coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home."

 I'm looking forward to these next couple of weekends so much, it's not even funny. I mean first off, this week is homecoming! Not only is it Texas State's homecoming, but it is also my high school's homecoming as well. So this means I'm going home on Friday and I am so excited. I can't wait to see all my old high school friends again, and I'm going to get to see all the girls on my high school drill team that I miss so much. I'm also really excited for Texas State's homecoming as well. It'll be really exciting to see how into the celebration the campus will get, and how big of a deal people will make of homecoming here.
     I'm also really looking forward to next week because of one reason: Strutters don't have practice at all that week. It's going to be amazing to get a nice break after all the stress and craziness that we've been going through with these past football games. Thank God for off weeks! The best part is, is on Friday, my last class ends at 11, so as soon as I scan out of that class I'm going home for a nice relaxing weekend full of home cooked meals, family and friends, and way from all the craziness of college. Then the next week is going to be Strutter casual which is going to be so much fun, Ryan Proudfoot is going to be playing his music and if you don't know who he is you should really look him up. And if you think about it, there are only a few more weeks till Thanksgiving break, and then it's finals, and then we're off for Christmas break. Wow, this year is going by so fast...

I pretty much always talk about my weekend....

And I'm going to again!! I went home this weekend (again). I go home a lot. But it is usually because I have a reason to. Friday night I hungout with a couple of my buddies back home and that was nice. Saturday was the funeral for my friend Draven. Which was absolutely heartbreaking. They had a slideshow of pictures which made me bawl my eyes out, seeing his smile and his crazy self. Some people told some stories which lightened up the mood and made me smile because I could just think of him doing the crazy things he did and how he acted. I miss him a lot. After the funeral, I had to leave because it was too emotional for me. Later that day, I went to the Renaissance Festival. I've lived in Houston my entire and I had never been, and that is pretty strange. I had the CUTEST costume that I made. I looked adorbz, not gonna lie. I went with 7 of my friends and I had so much fun! There were some cool people there and I love it when everyone is dressed up. There were also some awesome fireworks at the end of the night! On Sunday I carved a pumpkin with my mommy. We roasted the pumpkin seeds and had some good mother-daughter bonding time. I miss being at home with my family.

Signing up for classes

My first experience with signing up for classes in school was very frustrating. There are so many things you need to know that no one tells us and then just like that all your classes are closing in front of you. I failed to meet my pre requisite for physics which is college algebra 1315, which is also required for pre calculus. But somehow I met the pre requisite for pre cal so at 830 I walked to the advising place and met with an advisor who told me false information so I got confused and got an override from the professor even though I met the pre requisite. So I had to then talk to the head of the of the physics department who was a jack ass and told me I needed to send him all my info to override the mistake and as that was happening all the classes closed that fit with my schedule. So now I have to talk to the professor once again to see if he will let me in the class that is full. After I talked to him about that he said I just needed to wait until a spot opened up or until the first day of the semester and he can squeeze me in. So I got my stuff all screwed up because the dag gum university made a mistake and I just have to sit and wait.

Home

So I really miss home. Not because I'm home sick, but because of the fact that I haven't seen my family in 2 months! Do you know how sucky that is? On the bright side I get to see them is two weeks. Which means I will be there on Halloween and my birthday. I'm pretty excited about it. My boyfriend is also back home so I get to see him as well. I am really hoping that everything goes as planned. It'll be nice to go home and get away from some of the stress I have. Not only that, but to finally have some more alone time than just in the shower seeing that is all I have. I love my roommates, but I wish I had more time to myself than just when I am in the shower. It'd be nice for things to be quiet a little more.

Almost done

I feel like this semester has gone by very fast. Mid-terms are pretty much over, and now we are half way through with the semester. I am really excited for this semester to be over! I am a little scared as well because of all the work that I've been getting. It feels like I never get any free time. I've been having a test almost every week, and even though I am getting used to it now it still stresses me out. These are just regular exams so I think I am really going to freak out when finals come along. I really just want to get this semester over with and start my new classes for next semester.

So many assignments.. So little time..

            This coming week is going to be hell but what sucks even more is that it started last Friday. I had my chemistry midterm and it kicked everyone butt. I studied really hard for it but had no chance at a good grade.  Then over the weekend I study all weekend for my Political Science exam on Tuesday and I’m confident that I will get an A on that exam because the professor really makes sure we know what’s on the test and she seems to really care and want us to do well in the class. Over the weekend I had to also study for my scuba diving final on Tuesday evening which I think is going to be harder then I’m expecting so I’m going to make sure to get all the dive physics down before then. Monday night I have to get my pace assignments done for University seminar and then Tuesday I have to write up an outline for a speech in my communications class.  And finally on Wednesday I have to cram for my Pre-Calculus final on Thursday. This week is going to be long and stressful but hopefully after I get through it, it will all be worth it.

I Need A Job

I have too much free time and I really don't like not making money. As soon as I got to campus I applied for every work study job I could and I literally got a call or an email from every employer only to find out I don't even have work study. Apparently I did qualify for work study but the funds ran out before I could get awarded any. I think that really unfair because there are people that don't even know they have work study and people that could just care less about it but I could actually use work study. I haven't been without a job in three years and it is really annoying. I know I could just get a real job but I really didn't know if I could handle the responsibility of an off-campus job and all of my classes my first semester here. Unfortunately it seems like I will be working at McDonalds or something next semester if the Financial Aid office doesn't give me some work study funds. I have been considering donating plasma because my friend does it religiously but I am not okay with needles. Hopefully, I can work enough during the holiday to appease my needs or I will be really unhappy, which seems to be a common trend for me these days.

people are crazy

Last year a guy I knew through a mutual sport we played against each other got convicted of a terrible crime. He was convicted of kidnapping an 11 year old girl and raping her. Today he got sentenced to life in prison. It literally blows my mind that this guy did this. He was smart and had so much going for him but his addiction to drugs got the best of him. I wish I could say I feel sorry for him but who could feel sorry for someone who did such an awful thing. I went on road trips with this guy for our of town meets and never in a million years would I have thought he would do something this crazy. It just really opens my eyes that people can be completely different from what you think they are. But he's getting what he deserves.

Lost

     I feel like I'm not keeping up with my assignments. I am completely lost at the moment for some reason. Most likely because it's half way through the semester. I feel lazy and tired all the time...
     On the other hand, I have an interview for a job on Tuesday (tomorrow), and well I'm somewhat scared. I've had a job before and it caused stress now let's hope it doesn't happen again. My last job was crazy and filled with drama so I hope that this new job is nothing like the last one. I want to start fresh and it sounded like a laidback job when the guy called me back.
    I don't think I've ever had a face-to-face interview honestly. The first one I had was a Skype interview then the second was just an on the spot hire for the restaurant. I am already freaking out!

     Anyhow, I always tend to go on a different topic but I have an exam tomorrow which I have quit studying for because I feel like I'm overloading on studying. I hope I pass because if not I am screwed...

     Goodbye for the week!

Lacrosse!

So I joined the women's club lacrosse team earlier this school year, and our first game is this Saturday! It's just a game against the Alumni, but I am so excited to get out there and play. I haven't really had a background in lacrosse so it's been hard trying to learn a new sport. The girls on the team are extremely nice and welcoming to us new and inexperienced players, which helps a lot in the learning process. I feel blessed to be a part of such a great team with a great group of girls. It's slightly nerve wrecking thinking about playing on Saturday, because we haven't played a game yet. I know it will mainly be for fun, but I don't want to play bad. Although I am nervous, I am excited to play in my very first lacrosse game ever! I am so pumped for this weekend, between the lacrosse game and the Homecoming game this will be a fun filled weekend.

Why?

   Well last week was definitely a tough week for me. I'm not used to having to study at all for my tests but last week I spent my entire week studying for my Chemistry and Psychology Mid-terms. I studied so hard for chemistry considering it is by far the class I am weakest in but today I found out I made a 60 on it. I was really disappointed in myself. If I wouldn't have erased my last answer on my test I would've made a 70 which frustrated me even more!
   On my second mid-term, for psychology, I actually made a 102. Psychology just comes so much easier to me than Chemistry does. I had made a 100 at first and my Professor gave us a two point curve today as well. Making that awesome grade in psychology kind of evened out my disappointment from my chemistry score. Hopefully I can do better in Chemistry because I am terrified of failing. I don't want to let my parents down.

Ten years ago today..

   Ten year ago today, a man named Robert Lee Austen died here at Texas State. It is believed that he killed himself in a dorm. I am going to leave which dorm it was anonymous. You can't find his death on the internet anymore, so you will waste your time looking. I am writing this blog in honer of him. Specifically, I am writing this because no one respects his death here. Everyone makes fun of the incident as if he is some haunting ghost. I am here to open the eyes to those who think so blindly, and make sure they understand that Robert was a person, just like you and I. He had feelings and a life, and a purpose. His death should be a tragedy not a mo-chary.
   Our class topic this year is mental health. The book we were asked to read illustrates for students how to cope with mental illness and also understanding those around us with mental illness. It feels as if no one actually read the book considering the unsympathetic way people treat those with mental illness. Robert Lee Austen maybe didn't have a mental illness, but he was sad. He didn't think he had a reason to live anymore, for whatever reason. Think of this situation as it was your best friend. That guy probably had a best friend who is devastated. I just wish that we could be more respectful of his death. Let his body, mind, and soul rest. I didn't know Robert Lee Austen. I have no idea who he was or what he's done. So more the reason to leave his "suicide," alone. I'm sad that he took his life, and I'm just the kind of person to mourn a stranger's death ten years later. I'll do it with respect, and kindness, and hope you do the same.

Tests and a paper!

This week was  pretty rough! I had 3 tests week. I took a test on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. My paper was due on Wednesday as well. I already know what I got on 2 tests and I am definitely not satisfied with my scores :(  My weekend was pretty good because I went to this thing called victory weekend at my church. It was great! Plus I got to hang out with my friends from church. I really like hanging out with them so I will definitely hang out with them and get to know them a lot more.

half way?

This semester is almost half-way done/ over half-way done and I'm slowly getting the "lazy feeling." I've felt pretty good thus far, being enthusiastic about school and all, yet I'm slowly loosing my motivation. I'm just ready for a break! To keep me motivated, I just try and remember that I've worked so hard already, and I have to finish strong to keep my grades up. Otherwise all my hard work at the beginning will just go down the drain! Also, something I keep fresh in my mind is the approaching Thanksgiving break. Also the awesome fact that it comes so late this year...Why is this good? Because after Thanksgiving break we come back to school for just 2 weeks then leave for an entire month for Christmas! WOHOOO. So I'm beginning to fight, but if I can make it to Thanksgiving I'll be okay! So hurry up Thanksgiving! And hurry up weekend!
I feel like this weekend in particular will give me the extra boost I need because I'm going to Camp Champions! For those of you who don't know, it's a camp for people ages 11-35 who have mentally and physical disabilities, and I work there. This weekend is Fall Camp, so I'm excited. It'll give me what I need to lift my spirits and keep me going these last 5 weeks before Thanksgiving.

Last weekend

I am so stressed out! Last weekend i had so much homework to do that i was doing homework at every possible moment when i just wanted to relax.I usually get really excited to go home for the weekend,because i get to see my boyfriend,but this weekend i spent time next to him doing Homework.He realized how stressed out i was, so he made secret plans for me on saturday night.He made me relax and forget about my work for a couple of hours so i can calm down.It really helped to have some down time with him,because i was refreshed when getting back to work.Anyways him and his friend who is dating one of my best friends made plans to take us out.It was really exciting  for me and my friend Alyssa to see where they were going to take us.They first took us out to dinner at red lobster and then they took us to see the movie Gravity,which was so intense i did not even eat any of my candy through it.The entire movie keeps you in suspense.I recommend you guys to check it out.Anyways its the girls turn to make plans for the boys.I think its really important to plan fun stuff to do on the weekend just so you could escape the stresses of college for a couple of hours.Relaxing definitely refreshes you.

Fun

This week was another great week! I went to the whiskey Myers concert on Thursday and had an awesome time! The lead guitar and singer gave his pic and I got a picture with him and then the harmonica player gave me his harmonica to learn on because I am learning how to play! My new friend Austin and I went back to his home town in valley mills and saw Randy Rogers play there and I had a great time dancing and meeting people! I am gettin a little stressed because I have 2 tests Wednesday and I haven't studied but I think I can study tonight and be ok! Last night me and Austin went giggin at Sewell park and I got a pacosamiss sucker fish and we got 12 craw fish. We went back to blanco and boiled em up and had a little snack of wha we caught!